Things my mommy wants to know

My mommy has a lot of questions these days. Some that are on her mind lately are these:

• Why did I piddle on her bed on Saturday night?
• Why do I need to drag all of my bankies across the house? Why do I do that to the blue one?
  
• Why do I run under the little blue chair every time I have something even I know I should not have?
• Why am I ripping off ALL of the branches from the bushes in the front yard?
• Why did I rip the eyeballs off of Bugsy?
• Will I give myself head trauma shaking my tire rope so hard that I hit myself?
  
• Why do I jump on the couch downstairs and leap on her when she brings in the water bowl from the garage (my giant dog house)?
• Will I be a good guard dog some day? Does it matter if I grow to be 90+ pounds?
  
• How big will I be before I stop growing?
• How could I be any cuter?